25 Comments

Oh Claire. Even when you know the moment is coming, the loss is hard. These small furry creatures give us so much. I imagine you and Suley grieving together, and finding comfort in each other.

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I imagined it too.

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founding

I have resisted replying to these two posts regarding Zeki, Claire, in small part because everyone said already what I would say - but better; and in large part because I still am raw from my own similar experience.

The form of the habit our pets assume is large and great; my dog when he was alive made me a better version of myself; in his absence, I founder. Life continues.

Sweetness

Stephen Dunn

Just when it has seemed I couldn’t bear

one more friend

waking with a tumor, one more maniac

with a perfect reason, often a sweetness

has come

and changed nothing in the world

except the way I stumbled through it,

for a while lost

in the ignorance of loving

someone or something, the world shrunk

to mouth-size,

hand-size, and never seeming small.

I acknowledge there is no sweetness

that doesn’t leave a stain,

no sweetness that’s ever sufficiently sweet.

Tonight a friend called to say his lover

was killed in a car

he was driving. His voice was low

and guttural, he repeated what he needed

to repeat, and I repeated

the one or two words we have for such grief

until we were speaking only in tones.

Often a sweetness comes

as if on loan, stays just long enough

to make sense of what it means to be alive,

then returns to its dark

source. As for me, I don’t care

where it’s been, or what bitter road

it’s traveled

to come so far, to taste so good.

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How they break our hearts when they go.

I'm sorry for your broken heart, too.

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Oct 5, 2023Liked by Claire Berlinski

Bon voyage à Zeki. May he find a good place where he goes.

elm

💐

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Sorry for your loss. But pleased Zeki had a sibling companion, a good life, and a loving family.

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So sorry for your loss. While cats can be very independent creatures with regard to their attitudes, they also are very dependent in so many ways. And the best ones - like your Zeki - give out a tremendous amount of love.

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Oct 4, 2023Liked by Claire Berlinski

My dog howled the moment my neighbor died (they were good friends). They do know.

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Thank you, everyone. I do find reading these comments comforting.

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Oct 4, 2023Liked by Claire Berlinski

I appreciate your sharing the experience with your cat. I'm coming to terms with the mortality of my lil Shih Eli. 12 years old, he survived IMHA near death experience at 4 years old. Now it's Cushings Disease. But I have more time with him, having a reprieve on his end time. I believe your piece is helping me come to terms with this phase in his life. To make the most of the time we have with the ones we love. And who love us.

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I'm so sorry Claire - an aren't animals just so amazing. One of my girlfriends had the same experience when she put her elderly dog to sleep at home. The much younger, bigger dog was in the next room and the second that her senior dog passed he howled out loud. They know so much more than we can ever imagine. Thank you for giving him the dignity.

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Oct 4, 2023Liked by Claire Berlinski

Tears, it is ever so hard.

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Oct 4, 2023Liked by Claire Berlinski

Deepest condolences, Claire.

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founding
Oct 4, 2023Liked by Claire Berlinski

Oh how immensely lucky we are to share in the lives of these sweet and wonderful beings. They make us better people.

Sending love to three who I have never met, but am so grateful for. Each in the chain of life makes us pause to find joy. Sweet rest, dear Zeki.

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Claire, as a fellow animal lover (people, not so much), I truly feel your pain and sympathize.

I lost my favorite dog to renal failure several years ago ,and it took months to recover. Now I have another one, and love her just as much.

I didn’t see yesterday’s newsletter, so I don’t know if you have multiple cats and dogs. However, caring for a new one, helps after you get through the pain and loss.

One can never replace a beloved pet, but it truly inspires one, to save another...:)

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Oct 4, 2023Liked by Claire Berlinski

Dear friend (whom I have never met - but it is possible, isn't it, to become friends-at-a-distance?) - Your previous post about little Zeki was so moving, I had to stop reading midway through. I can only begin to imagine what feelings of grief you have experienced, but I hope that there was, also, a measure of joy in remembering happier times, as well as a feeling of peace in knowing that Zeki's trials are over. If it helps with grieving, I would also hope that you keep writing about those interesting little characters with whom you share your life...or refinishing furniture...whatever moves you.

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Oct 4, 2023Liked by Claire Berlinski

I'm so sorry, Claire. The animals who choose to bond with us and each other have their own ways of knowing and loving... we have nothing to teach them, and often a great deal from them to learn and be grateful for. Your relationship with Suley has deepened, and you will be there for each other going forward, each in your own way. Thank you for sharing this with your friends... we all benefit from such an instance of beauty and love and mystery.

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Oct 4, 2023Liked by Claire Berlinski

Rest in Peace little one.

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