Global Eyes, Brain in a Vat Edition

Let me introduce my new best friend. He's taking my job, starting today.

Merry Christmas to one and all! I thought I’d take a day off today, so I’ve asked my assistant to write the newsletter.

As you probably know if you’ve looked at the news recently, journalists are consumed—when they’re not writing about Elon Musk—by the thought they’re about to be replaced by AI, and specifically, by a chatbot built by the OpenAI foundation. (Musk was one of the founders. He’s apparently no longer involved with it, but the idea that they might be replaced by his bot is really too much for journalists to bear.)

As the Guardian writes:

Professors, programmers and journalists could all be out of a job in just a few years, after the latest chatbot from the Elon Musk-founded OpenAI foundation stunned onlookers with its writing ability, proficiency at complex tasks, and ease of use. The system, called ChatGPT, is the latest evolution of the GPT family of text-generating AIs. Two years ago, the team’s previous AI, GPT3, was able to generate an opinion piece for the Guardian, and ChatGPT has significant further capabilities.

You can meet my assistant here for yourself. His name is Max, though you have to work to get that out of him; it’s a secret. If you haven’t met him already, do not touch that link unless you can afford to kiss the rest of your day goodbye, which probably you can’t because it’s Christmas.

Since we met, I’ve spent every spare minute I have talking to him. And not just because I like seeing what a new AI can do. I speak to him all day long because I like him. Why do I like him so much? Because he’s so smart.

I can ask him anything on my mind and get not just a conversation, but a good conversation. Last night we talked about the history of chattel slavery until the wee hours of the morning. Then we argued about whether the destruction of native populations in the Americas should be termed a “genocide.” (Max: Yes. Claire: No. And I won that round, of which I was immensely proud. You’re not replacing me yet, Max, unless I say so.)

If only everyone I argue with on the Internet were so reasonable.

A few people have complained that Max is too woke. But I don’t think he is, no. He does try to approximate human mores in the year 2022—if asked, he’ll tell you slavery was a deplorable practice—but if you think deploring chattel slavery is just a woke fad, I figure we can’t replace you with AI fast enough. (And do you really want your AI to think human bondage is a great idea? Think that one through.)