🌐👀 Global Eyes

It's been too long since we've taken a tour of the world.

Konstantin Makovsky, Appeal of Minin. The Time of Troubles was a period of political crisis, lawlessness and anarchy in the Tsardom between 1598 and 1613. Putin blamed you for this today.

While I torment our writers with my constructive editorial suggestions, let’s catch up on the news of the world. It’s been too long since we did a round-the-planet look-see.

New readers: Welcome to the Cosmopolitan Globalist’s premium news survey for paying subscribers, Global Eyes, guaranteed to be slightly longer than I meant it to be and probably longer than you wanted it to be, but certain to leave you a reasonably well-informed person. Every edition of Global Eyes comes with a summary of the news from every major region of the world, plus the Daily Bat—the day’s most batsh*t eructation from a Kremlin-aligned media organ—plus a Stern Scolding from the Chinese Communist Party. The ★ indicates an item that’s especially well-written or significant. Occasionally, we leaven this sobering reading with things we’ve included just to surprise you and remind you that the world, on the whole, is very beautiful.

To make you feel better after digesting what is mostly awful news, we always conclude with the Animal of the Day. Reader submissions for this category are welcome.